We are sooo close to a year old that I can hardly stand it! His personality is such a funny one and he scares me a little for the toddler years. He is a troublemaker much more than his big brother was at this age, I promise you I don’t think I have ever dug anything from Grayson’s choppers and I do it with Carter all.day.long. He does know what “no” means already and is good at listening to me so far. My little mischievous boy. He has not lost that happy spirit of his (unless we are shopping) the boy does not like it. We just walk into a store and he starts up with the whining. It drives me nutso. He better get used to it though because it feels like I am always in one store or another. For a long time now he has slept holding his feet, it’s the cutest thing. I should see if I can find a picture of it. I love watching my babies sleep. He is pulling himself up all the time, but doesn’t seem close to actually walking. He has starting taking steps if I am holding his hands or he uses the little walker, but nothing on his own at all. He is obsessed with the fridge! Even if he is on the other side of the room and I open it, he races over to try to get to it in time before it’s closes again. Makes me laugh. He loves bath time, but despises getting dressed afterwards. He is such a joy and I cannot imagine life without him.
On a more serious note, I know that mom guilt is a real thing and that more than likely we’ve all felt it. Right now it is going strong with this one. When I think about Grayson at this age, I did not work. I of course had photography but it was super slow at that time. Now with Carter, I work three days a week plus photography has been overwhelmingly busy for the last six months or so annd another sibling. I feel guilty that he doesn’t get enough hugs from his momma, or enough snuggles and almost no one-on-one time with me. Grayson and I have always, always gone on dates together. Carter and I have probably been on two. He is such a good baby that when he is awake he just plays and follows Grayson around, so I race to get as much work or house chores done that I can. This is a viscous cycle that is my everyday life. I know that I am not the only one who feels like this, and am not trying to throw a pity party. It’s just how I am feeling and writing about it somehow helps, and if anyone else is going through this season just know you are not alone. I love my boys so so much it hurts, I just don’t want to look back and worry that I didn’t spend enough quality time with them. I’m praying I am can be more intentional in my time with each of the boys in my family.