Isaiah : nine months

I bet she didn’t think it would happen to her. When they placed him in her arms the first time, she never imagined it would be possible. That he would ever even come close to turning a year old. Time is a thief of the cruelest kind. She may not feel this way but nine months is harder for me to deal with than a year, nine months is the first time you realize how much they’ve grown. You see their personality come through (that part is my favorite) and they start to explore and grow independent. You start the grieving process now and by the time their first birthday hits you’ve passed the five stages and are just ready to celebrate! The bubble bath session was Sam’s idea, I cannot express enough how much I love when a client gets creative with their sessions. We had lots of help to make this day go off without a hitch and I would say we were pretty successful! Here are a few of our favorites. 

I was even lucky enough to capture Isaiah’s first time standing up by himself! (pictured lower left corner) All in all I would say it was a successful bubble bath, happy nine months Isaiah William. 

 

Janessa Hanson :: maternity session

Thank you gorgeous poppies for joining us for this session. Us Southern Californians get really excited when we see any color around here, and there is no color shortage in this session. I have known both Janessa and Jason for years and years, so this session is extra special to me. She is due to have another little boy in May and I am just so excited for them (as a bias boy mom). It was hard to narrow my favorites because there were just so many good ones but I somehow managed to do it.

I think Lincoln is such a perfect mix of daddy and mommy, I can’t wait to see what this sweet boy will look like.   To think I photographed your engagement almost nine years ago and now have the privilege to capture another special time in your lives, thank you for choosing me.

Reighlyn :: One year

It only took me two months but I finally picked out my favorites and put them together for this post. Ahh just seeing all the colors in this makes me love them even more. For anyone that knows me knows that I am not a fan of rain, like at all. But I have to admit, it sure makes this photographer happy to see so much green everywhere. This spot has been one of my favorites lately for the desert-ish feel it normally has but I love this too. I was really surprised to get here and see that the dry creek bed wasn’t so dry. But Meg is a trooper and I told her it would be worth it once we got up there and sure enough it was. Wet shoes and all.

Reighlyn is such a sweet baby, whenever we’re around her she just hangs out. She’s happy and doesn’t fuss, I love that her and Carter are so close in age and I hope they’re friends forever. Here are all the ones I feel that totally captured her little personality. It’s my favorite when clients bring a prop or two to liven up our session. 

Girls are fun, I love you Reigh.

Today’s parade

I do not know if this post will ever actually see the light of day but I just felt the need to get some thoughts written out. If you know me, you know there isn’t much I keep inside. I like to share, I appreciate input and I love to let other people know they are not alone. I also wanted to share because over the weekend I let people see all of the happy, but I am not going to pretend like I don’t have struggles or don’t lay awake at night with battles. What we see in the squares are not everything, there is always bad with the good and it’s what we do with the struggles that matters the most.

It’s no secret that we’ve always struggled with getting pregnant, before Grayson I had two miscarriages. I was heartbroken for what felt like a really long time. Then before Carter it took me 14 months to actually get pregnant, both were so hard in their own ways. But both taught me that relying on God was the absolute only way to get through.

After Carter, I really did think I was done. Labor hates me. But slowly that desire crept in to have another. Or so I thought. For the past six months it was like a tug of war, do I want to actually be pregnant and give birth.. ugh again.. or stick to our plan to adopt. Because I do believe in my heart, that our family is not complete. I just do not know what that looks like yet. Age has played a huge factor too, I just turned 35 and in ovary ages.. that’s kind of ancient. So in “not trying” but “kind of trying” we decided this last month was it. Well, that month (and time of month) has gone and then come. For a few days last week, I thought I was pregnant but am not. I feel like I almost mourned something I never had, is that even possible? In my mind I have gone through a wrestling match of my own kind. “Am I not a good mom? Do I not deserve another baby?” to “I will finally not be working soon and can put 100% into my two beautiful boys.” or “Good because I definitely do not want to be pregnant again.” back to “But why not?” and “Why is it so easy for some people?” I could go on.

But you know what, I don’t have to know why because God does. My final thoughts were this. From this moment on I am going to be praying for a baby girl, our baby girl. One that isn’t conceived yet, or one that is already growing. Because the Lord knows who she is. I am not going to limit God in the way of my womb either, hey look at Abraham and Sarah. They were over 100 right? I truly do believe I am done birthing babies but really, we have no idea what He has in store for us.

I heard an analogy one time that I loved and still remember whenever I struggle with the unknown. (I sure wish I could remember now who told me this! So sorry if it’s someone who is reading this) But, our life is like a parade. We can only see what is right in front of us passing by, we can’t see the beginning or the end (or even most of the middle). But the Lord, He sees all of it. Every single bit. So how can we not trust Him with it? I have soo so much in my life to be thankful for, I am not going to get caught up in why or what I don’t have.

A friend who knows my heart sent this to me the other day after I told her. “This God—his way is perfect; the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.” (2 Samuel 22:31) A to the men. He has proven that in our lives over and over, his way is PERFECT and I have to admit I’m pretty excited to see what that looks like as far as our family growth is concerned.

Thank you for reading and for loving our family, because I know you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t.

Everett Hanson :: newborn

hanson-1789You might remember Caitlin’s maternity session from a couple of months ago, well this little guy belongs to them. Everett was so sweet and so good for our session, it was a lot of fun for me. Plus I was able to spend some time with his parents, which is always a pleasure. hanson-1852

Oh those lips! I love them so.hanson-1902These last two are my favorite favorite! I might need a big one on display to show off to my other clients. hanson-1927

Carter :: one year

carter-9590Carter boy,

This year with you in our family has brought an indescribable joy to all of us. I mean it, you light up everyone’s life with your infectious smile. We cannot go to even one store without someone stopping me because they have to tell me how cute you are, and that is probably because you smile (and even wave) to everyone who looks your way. It’s one of my favorite things about you. You absolutely adore your big brother, although you definitely know how to work us when it comes to him. We usually assume he’s done something naughty and gets in trouble but more and more we secretly watch you boys, he will get a little too close or gently touch your fingers and you scream! We’re starting to catch on though and that won’t work forever my boy. You are a determine little guy that’s for sure, and I love watching you navigate all of your moves. The way you have to smell your blanket every time you grab it makes me giggle. Life with you is better, and I cannot wait to see who you become.

I had been wanting to do his pictures for a while but apparently California is the new Washington because it rained every.single.day for like three weeks! We were/are so over it. But we had a clear two days and so I took full advantage. We took these in Andrea’s gorgeous backyard. I had planned to use another spot in her yard but unfortunately the sun was too far down on that side. Luckily she has eight million other sides to her yard that look amazing! I brought reinforcements to our session because well, the only time this guy doesn’t smile is during an actual photoshoot. And I even left feeling a little bummed because I didn’t think I got too much of what I was looking for. Buuut, once I got home I saw soooo many that I loved. (All thanks to his Nana!)

carter-9591I added this one directly above because if you ask him where his head is, this is his answer. Next we are working on the nose. And speaking of his nose, that little side profile below is just adorable to me!  carter-9615I don’t typically let me boys eat sugar for a long time with the exception of their birthdays. So while this cake looks gigantic for my one year old, I made it because a. I wanted to practice it for his party and b. I knew he wouldn’t eat too much. And he really did lose interest in about five minutes. But I sure think he was adorable for those five minutes.carter-9676 carter-9721Happy first birthday my baby bear, we love you with our whole hearts.

Isaiah :: six months

isaiah-8262

It feels like we just took these six month pictures of Isaiah but it was back at the beginning of December that we did them! I still cannot believe how fast that month flew by. I feel like it was summer, I blinked and now it’s January. I know that this sweet boy can give the best gummy smiles but it was mostly just serious business for our session. I did not mind one bit though, because well, those big eyes.isaiah-8292
He absolutely loved this fluffy blanket.isaiah-8328

And his toes. isaiah-8386

It’s fun watching you grow baby Allen, and even more fun seeing the hearts in your momma’s eyes for you. You are so loved little boy. isaiah-8418